im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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