I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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