you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
