Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize