I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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