Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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