If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
