The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
