We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
