Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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