i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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