Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
