She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
