halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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