so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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