in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
