we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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