What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When are your genitals available?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
