Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
