if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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