Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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