I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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