the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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