I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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