was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
