Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
