I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i out mim tonsoeep
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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