Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
