We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
