I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
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I just googled if crying burns calories
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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