Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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