you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
