Dual....:-)
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
