Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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