; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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