Yo dont text me then not text me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Randomize
