i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
