Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
