drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
