I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I need a beard to bite.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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