I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize