This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
