who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
