She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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