That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
