Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
