if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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