I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize