Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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