Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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