Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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