If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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