You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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