we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
