Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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