no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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