Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
