In the future we'll all be gay
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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