im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize