You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
