It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
