Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
