I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
