There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
