i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
