Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
