pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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