Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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