I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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